Is open relationship a sexual infidelity?
What is an open relationship?
Friends, I searched and researched the definition of open relationship in many dictionaries around the online world and when I compared and compiled them together, I found this definition, “an open relationship is a relationship between 2 people in which both people are free to engage in sexual activities or simply speaking sex with other partners.”
What is infidelity?
Infidelity is a violation of the mutually agreed upon rules and regulations of a relationship and is considered to be as a breach of faithfulness in interpersonal relationships or in more simple words, unfaithfulness to a sexual partner such as spouse.
So what do you think after reading this definition that the concept and definition of open relationship and infidelity ends here. No, it is not only this, I have something different in my mind which I have thought and thought over several times in the last 3 years. Thanks to the hubber who has put on this request, as I am very much interested in this topic. I am going to explain my view on open relationship and open relationship is sexual infidelity or unfaithfulness or not in the sentences below.
Open relationship is the one, when you do not depend on one lover but remain free to love. It is about getting freedom from your own insecurities. It is an opportunity to experience the love, which makes you free from the bondage of miseries and agonies of life. However, this term can also be misinterpreted as infidelity, but in my understanding, open relationship is the deepest form of committed relationship, involving thorough respect for your partner, without any intention to exploit them. Only those who are masters of their own emotions and feel no need to depend on anyone else can enter into open relationship. Open relationship is about relations with your partner spiritually, when you respect him/her so much that you feel no need to cling, possess, or manipulate.
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It is definitely not one night stand, as anyone feeling sexually driven can never truly respect his partner and hence can not relate to his/her soul.
There are many people out there who claim to be in open relationship are just exploiting this concept for their own selfish motivations.
It is very difficult to be in an open relationship because human beings have their own fears and they need someone to cling to. They want to possess their lover, as it appears that they cannot exist without them. When such a possession exists, it is impossible to love someone truly.
True open relationship is based on true love. It continues until the fragrance of love exists and truly causes the lovers to evolve with each other. Then, a time comes when their coevolution is over and that is the time, they should say thanks to each other and move away on their individual path with deep gratitude. Normal love relationship/marriage have to be dragged on, even if they have lost the fragrance and they often become the stumbling block to your own evolution path. Open relationship can work wonders, as it can give real boost to one’s creativity, as lovers become one and begin to tap into the ultimate creative source of life. When the relationship has lost fragrance, it is no more creative, as both the partners are just playing manipulating games with each other.
When the relationship is truly loving, great souls have a chance to descend in this world. Hence the chances are that children conceived in the moments of true love will be highly spiritual self and hence they will fill the life of their parents and the whole world with beauty and divinity.
Beautiful relationships are never understood by society and here is no hope in future also. Why? Because human minds are always manipulative and authenticity is so difficult to be understood and appreciated. Hence, we should stop to bother about society and begin to think about living a beautiful life, which makes us evolve spiritually.
Current structure of relationships is mostly defined by marriage and it has only served to turn humans into deep sadness. Only purpose marriage serves is that it is stable and hence provide security. Hence until human beings remain scared of life, marriage will survive.
Can you experience divine love in marriage?
Off course you can. Nothing stops you from that. But, first, you have to stop possessing each other and relate to each other spiritually and not as husband and wife. Spouse is the relationship, which is dictated by social norms and it has nothing divine into that. So that label of husband/wife has to be dropped, if lovers rally want to experience divinity. One need to dive into the bliss of soul and this will take one away from the insecurities of mundane life.
True love is eternal and it is not about clinging. When the love reaches its peak, lover becomes part of you and then there is no need to be together. I have often seen that when the love reaches the true peak, lovers depart. Why? Because in true love there is freedom. When both the lovers have learned their lessons from each other and have reached the peak of ecstasy, there is no need to be together after that. And hence they depart. But this departure is totally different form departing after dissatisfactions and possession.
When the lovers depart after reaching the climax, they have immense gratitude for each other and possession simply melts. Very often it happens that when lovers have reached this state, their relationship transforms and they reach a higher state of relatedness. Then, they can be true friends, or even like brother, sister, father, daughter, mother, son.
When the love is based on infatuation or fever of passion, the departure is very painful, as one remains dissatisfied with what one got. There is always a feeling, that he/she wanted more. Any relationship based on pure physical motives will always remain dissatisfactory and hence end in disputes, while the relationships based on spiritual connection will always end up in deep gratitude.
Similarly one can do nothing with the manipulation games. This is how the mind exists, and you can do nothing about it. Only way is to go beyond the mind and begin to live in the spirit. Mind is darkness. Spirit is light. When one lives in spirit, the darkness of mind is automatically dispelled and the love based on spirit is always unconditional.
Both the partners also need to be very aware of the spells of darkness, when they want to use each other for their own selfish motive. In those moments, they should remember the moments of true love and the bliss it provided them. As soon as the bliss evaporates and they enter into agony, they should know that mind games have begun again.
Some people search for the secret of divine sex, let me explain it to you.
“Sex which integrates, body, mind and soul directs you to divinity”.
Yes, it requires a lot of work on oneself. It requires one to realize his holistic existence of body, mind and soul. When one lives in this way, he/she begins to realize that he /she is the true source of her own happiness and sadness. When we realize ourselves as the source of ecstasy and agony, we become centered and begin to have access to true love. Until we continue to feel that someone else can make us happy we continue to face disappointments in life. When we get centered within ourselves, that is, when we have the access to the source of divine sex.
One can be infidel only till one has discovered the true soul mate. And if one has not discovered the soul mate, what is the point of fidelity also, as this cannot give true joy.
When one feels the connection of soul, he is transported into a whole different world and all the wandering ends.
True soul mate will lead you to the divine experience, the purity. This is beyond desire and guilt. Desire is not the motive for sex with soul mate. True soul mates ride on the pure energy, which leads them to truth.
Until you are being motivated by desire and guilt, soul has not manifested. Being split is the experience of mind, which is a block to the soul experience.
It is true that only those who are not the beggars for love can get into open relationship. Those who hanker for security, have the compulsion to possess. On the contrary, open relationship is about freedom and love without being dependent. It is about the joy of giving and letting go of expectations.
It is natural to have spiritual connection with more than one person.
In different lifetimes, we meet different lovers and that creates unresolved karma and at some of them appear in each lifetime and hence the attraction for many. However, for one to remain with you for long, needs a huge backlog from past to be resolved and if such a backlog in not there, lovers will move away quickly.
At last, I would say that open relationship in not an act of sexual unfaithfulness or infidelity, but is a deep relationship which some people out there cannot understand and are abusing this term for their own sake.