Avoiding Cheaters on Craigslist personals

When is a posting on Craigslist cheating?

Many of us have been to Craigslist at some point or another, for any reason.  Whether it be to buy an item, sell an item, search for a job, or search for a mate.  At any rate, Craigslist is widespread.  Recently, I have browsed the personals ads, and I was absolutely abhorred by what I found. 

Not only have we become a society that lacks proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling use; but also, many people have abandoned morality and have chosen cheating as opposed to monogamy.  With that being said, I know it is difficult for people to meet new people in this fast paced world, and many have turned to internet sites, such as Craigslist, to do so.  In this article, I will detail tips about how to filter through the ads in order to find a suitable suitor for yourself.

Below, are common phrases or occurrences found in the personals ad section.  I have included translations, descriptions, and implications for the future.

    1.  “Discretion is a must.”
When a poster states that discretion is a must, two things are possible. 
One, “I have a significant other who doesn’t know, and I’d like to keep it that way.” Or, “I am not comfortable with the ‘lifestyle’ because I have not accepted it.”  Either way, it leaves much to be desired for the person searching for a mate.  Even if the person left the significant other for you, what is to say they would not do the same thing to you?

2. “I cannot host.”/ “You must host.”
    What this really means is that there is a reason you cannot see their home.  Either he/she does not have a place, he/she has someone at home that he/she doesn’t want you or the other to know about, he/she is a hoarder (like the television series), he/she is not looking for a serious relationship, or he/she assumes he/she would be ashamed of the relationship with you.  Do any of those sound appealing?  I didn’t think so.

3.  “I have posted here before.”
    Why on Earth would you admit to having posted before?  It tells everyone that something is wrong with you.  If you come across this in a post, beware.  Ask yourself, why is this person posting multiple times on Craigslist?  What could be wrong with this person? 

4.  “Looking for a friend first, and then more.”
    We all want to have friends.  However, this phrase in a post translates to more of a “bed buddy” than a friend.  Most people think that it is possible to just be a “friend in the sheets,” but what they don’t think about is someone getting hurt.  If you are looking for a serious relationship, this is definitely not the way to go.  This poster does not want a relationship with you, aside from a purely physical one.

5.  “Curious.”/ “First time.” (same-sex posters)
    If you see a post in a same-sex forum that states the poster is looking for a first time experience, or is curious, you should steer clear.  What this person is looking for is “hook-up” experience for the real thing later on.  If you are looking for a relationship, curiosity and first timers can create an issue.  They are unsure about this step, and are not ready to settle.  Also, many of the curious posters state that he/she is in a relationship.  A lot of them are looking for the spouses to join in on the play.  Personally, I would not want to be someone’s play toy or prize for a spouse. 

    Whether you are writing an ad or looking for a mate, there are some things we should all avoid: discretion is a must, I cannot host, I have posted on craigslist personals before, looking for a friend and more, and looking for a first time experience.  All of these promise drama and disaster for all parties involved.  If you are looking for someone through an ad, remember to read (or write) carefully.