ATTENTION All males who read the hubs of HubPage writers: (I promise you that you will “love” this story. If you don’t, I cannot help you. Sincerely, Kenneth)
Simply said. This hub is about girls. Pretty girls. Girls that you guys dream about. But never able to date. Girls that when searched in Webster’s Dictionary, their pictures always end up by the words “gorgeous,” “beautiful,” and “unattainable.”
Girls with names such as “Fifi.” Girls named “Jennifer.” Girls girls named “Bubbles.” And girls with names such as “Sharona,” whose beauty is viewed on other level way past mortal minds
Those kind of girls. Model-material girls. Girls who can just wink and 50 guys spill their plate at the cocktail party. And girls who can just walk into a room and the same 50 guys in harmony forget the great joke they were sharing. Those kind of girls. The girls that us guys get only one chance to meet, date, and if we are very blessed, get to have a long-lasting relationship with them.
Okay. If you haven’t followed me so far, this hub is all about pretty girls. And to be fair to my much-valued women followers, this hub is in no way disrespecting you. In fact, you might get a laugh or two as you read this hub that came to me late Friday evening, June 22. (true date).
Please allow me to share some true-blue facts about girls and women . . .
Women are all unpredictable. And honestly, I think men love that trait.
Women say their mind. Unlike men who mostly “beat around the bush.”
Women can be very intimidating. When they need to be.
Women know how to “stand their ground.” Never assume they are weak.
Women can take on any man, another woman who is treading on her territory, or four-legged beast. And win hands-down.
Women do not require jewels, cars or furs. The nicest and most-thoughtful gift any guy can give any girl is simple respect and a free-acknowledgement that they are his equal.
Now there are many more women-related facts, but I think you get my point. I’m sorry if you don’t, because I am fresh-out of programs.
It takes a real man to listen and understand a woman. Not that she or her “sisters in womankind,” talk in an unknown, complex code from the Far East. It’s just that women, don’t you love them, have a language all their own.
For instance. If she says, “fine,” in a sharp tone, she is really not agreeing with you, male friend, she is cutting you off at the verbal knees to prevent you from winning the argument.
And if she squints her eyes and says, “duhhh,” guys, this means that one of the two of you is not mentally-sharp and it isn’t her.
A woman is unlike a man in so many ways even Dr. Phil cannot count that high. She will say more in seven words than us guys say in twenty. Don’t believe me? Listen carefully to a woman asking a clerk for a certain dress when she is out shopping. “Size three, beige, above the knee, please,” see, seven words exactly. A man will stand and mumble and stumble over what dress he wants for his wife until the clerk sighs in aggravation and suddenly needs to take a rest room break.
One last bit of “women truth.” Unlike most men, when women say, “I will “NEVER” say something like that to you,” buddy, you can bank on it. A woman is true to her word. I happen to know a few “true” women on and off of HubPages and I can guarantee you that when they say something similar to this statement, believe it.
What I am stumbling to say is that there are “12 Things That Girls Will Never Say,” . . .and you guessed it. This is an easy-to-understand list of those things that has been never-before published. Until now.
1.) “Watch a Lifetime Network movie? Are you kidding me, hun? I want you to take me to a tractor pull.”
2.) “I’m famished from all of the clubbing. Take me to Hooter’s for bite to eat!” “you talk to all those hot waitresses you want. I am beat!”
3.) “I think that your “ex” is the cutest little thing on high heels.”
4.) “Hey, the remote if yours. I want no part of it.”
5.) “See if you can drink another pitcher of Bud, dear. You are so sexy when you are intoxicated.”
6.) “What “ex”? When I met you those other guys just vanished away.”
7.) “Why do you want to take me to dinner, then to that stupid ballet, “Swan Lake?”
8.) “I am not a big fan of cuddling.”
9.) “Dear, tell me about your day of repo work. Your feelings are more important than mine as well as your job.”
10.) “No, I don’t mind at all if you meet your last girlfriend at Hooter’s to console her about her inability to be faithful.”
11.) “Do you have tickets to the WWE Wrestlemania, yet? Never mind, sweetie. I will get you ten tickets for you and your buddies.”
12.) “Hey, go hunting with your buddies for an entire week and here’s my American Express for those cases of beer you will need.”
Now I want to offer the men readership of HubPages my deepest apologies for putting them into “dream land,” with this list of things that women will never say.
Be honest guys. Don’t you sometimes “dream” that your wife or girlfriend would say something similar to this list?
Okay. Just give me time to work on it, and one day you will be calling me the “Sandman.”